As I talk to dads about their teenagers who are giving them fits, their wives who don’t seem to think like them, and the deceptively deadly pull of success that beckons to them every day, I see the tiredness in their eyes and hear the emotion in their voices.
I listen to them talk and nod my head in understanding until they finish. Then in a gentle but firm voice, I say, “Man, I know exactly how you feel, but . . . you ‘da dad. You may feel like giving up, but your family is counting on you. You can’t give up on them. Get back in there, because, although they may say harsh things . . . they still need you.”
They sigh, stiffen their chin in determination, and nod in agreement. “You’re right, Todd,” they say. “Thanks for the reminder.”
Over and over, I watch men walk away, determined to give it another shot.
I can’t help but think of that old Paul Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke. It’s about a guy who winds up in an old Hogan’s Hero-like chain gang and repeatedly tries to escape. It’s not one I’d recommend seeing, but one scene has been replaying in my mind this past week.
Cocky Paul Newman arrives at the prison camp and is challenged by the biggest guy (probably named Moose, Big Al, or something like that) in jail to a fistfight. Everyone knows Paul will be knocked out cold in the first round but, to the surprise of everyone, he just won’t go down.
He smiles, gets pounded to the ground,
and then staggers up to get knocked down again. Eventually, even the big guy feels sorry for him and begs him to stay down . . . but he won’t. You think his dusty and bruised body is incapable of moving at all when he drags himself to a standing position and lifts his hands to defend himself . . . again.
Ladies, that’s your man. He gets pummeled, whomped on, yelled at, and spit on but . . . he’s just too committed (or too stupid) to give up. He loves you, your family, and his role as dad (even though sometimes he doesn’t act like it). So . . . give him some extra grace today, smile at him, and remind him again that you’d choose him in a heartbeat.
Be Real,
Guest Article by Todd Wilson from The Old Schoolhouse
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